BIRD SANCTUARY

Last episode, Meme Guy (who had nine million shares of GME) suddenly out of the blue filed paperwork indicating he'd purchased nine million shares of CHWY. Before this document dropped, he'd tweeted a picture of a cartoon dog, with the obvious intent that apes would swarm over and buy CHWY stock to pump up his investment so he'd get to fleece them again. Immediate chaos ensued, with "wrinkled apes" (the ones they consider to be the leading minds) trying to come up with plausible explanations of how he could've gotten the stake in CHWY without dumping his GME bags on the apes. They've been begging Meme Guy to post evidence he's still long on GME, and he's been absolutely radio silent in response.

Right now there's still a lot of these puddingbrains who think that Meme Guy is still on their side and is playing some sort of 4-D chess. He tweeted a picture of a pirate ship once, so one theory is he's "rocking the boat", switching his investment back and forth among meme basket stocks and boosting it each time until he's got enough money to trigger MOASS. (They don't seem to realize that the increases in his portfolio's value come from repeatedly fleecing apes.) Unfortunately for him, apes have been reluctant to move to CHWY, and his investment is languishing somewhat. Directionless, they've apparently decided to buy stock in KOSS for some unexplainable reason that I'm sure has something to do with jpegs.

In the meantime, BBBY apes have been sharing how many zero-value cancelled shares they're "still hanging on to" and yelling at anyone related to the company demanding to know when they're getting their money. People in the company (some Internet wholesaler bought the brand for a song and is using it for their own home goods) keep explaining to them patiently that they don't own anything and all their assets are gone, at which point they're accused of being hedgie shills. Somebody posted a screenshot of their account; they had 2,000 shares when it went to zero. Someone else had 11,000. A lot of the apes bought in at $10 or more (and then chased it all the way down, so who knows-- there was a ton of volume when it was trading at nine cents).

Every week or so somebody posts a Pepe Silvia-quality explanation about how it's all going to kick off at T+ some random number from some unexplained event so it's always just around the corner and everyone has to just keep hodling and they'll all get rich.

Not sure what's likely first-- Meme Guy getting outed as having sold his GME stock, or Meme Guy getting arrested for stock manipulation. Either will be hilarious, but the former might get him murdered by an ape.

So, several days ago Ryan Cohen riled up the apes when he tweeted "Trump 2024." A lot of the left-leaning apes went, well, apeshit and it triggered a minor civil war. Apparently some of the wrinkle-brain apes tried to convince the others that it wasn't indicative of him actually supporting Trump, but some kind of code. Cohen responded with a tweet where he just spammed Trump's name over and over and over again, and his choice of Vance as a running mate has convinced a large portion of the apes that Cohen is now on the side of the nefarious hedgies and doesn't actually give a shit about them. Also, one of the wrinkle apes who has constantly convinced his ape brethren that he had insider info on when the shorts were all coming due and thus MOASS will be triggered was revealed to be hilariously misunderstanding how stocks worked (and I mean he was revealed to be a dumbass by ape standards, not by human standards, so we're talking pretty fuckin' stupid here) and they're starting to realize that the trillions of synthetic shares they've pegged their hopes to don't actually exist. Today was supposed to be (yet another) D-day for MOASS, and it came and went, and unlike in the past they haven't come up with when the next one's supposed to be. The dam might be breaking.

Meme guy's attempt to get the apes to pump CHWY apparently failed spectacularly and a bunch of them who bought calls to ride the wave are getting their lunches eaten.

Apparently dissent has grown to the point where apes yelling down apes isn't sufficient anymore and the mods of /r/superstonk are deleting posts and banning people who don't buy into the horseshit anymore.